Wild winds

There was once a scared girl who just couldn't hold on to the wind
. One day a beautiful cool breeze enchanted her and whispered trust me I'll hold on.  She trusted.

A few days later it became warm..  Too warm - cool breeze was nowhere. It had moved on without saying bye. It found someone else and never let her go

Scared girl shattered but moved on. She grew on and became a beautiful woman.  Cynical and weary about the weather.

Many seasons and broken promises later a new warm wind ruffled her hair and held her for a bit. She knew it was temporary but her skin recognized him and dared to hope.  Smiling she started to skip and smell the roses.

Too late she realized she was once more a substitute for the warm winds.  Now she dusted her skirt off and walked away.

She knows winds cannot be caged but she so wanted to run with the winds into the sunset.

Now she sits by her closed window and stares at the winds ruffling the dead leaves.

Kickstarting at 40

Surrounded by work and letting myself actually believe the horror story my mind has managed to conjure up - has not worked out so well for me. Figure I have a couple more decades to wear that bikini and look awesome, feel the breeze at the Greek amphitheater, become an expert at egg sandwiches, stop being afraid of failing spectacularly. I fail and then lose hope - forgetting that I need to practice to become better at it.
 So along my road to being the best version of me - I have signed up to run at Pinkathon race in Mumbai - for the 5 km. Found a partner to run along with on Saturday and Sunday
The kick start to all this - I cycled with Mumbai Riders this Saturday night - I wanted to go the entire length but I could not climb uphill and finally took a cab back. But while riding - oh - that was amazing. I wasn't shielded in a car, or hidden behind on a bike - it was just me riding along with the wind, dark sky and a few twinkling stars. AWESOME. I want that feeling and to realize that I do not have to depend on anyone else to feel that way was a moment of epiphany.
So I am going to walk for now and then run - take baby steps and enjoy the ride.

Love ..

Love ... Love ... Love ...
1. Love is believing the other person when they say "Its Ok" and it is ok. It is not saying "Its Ok", reassuring the guilty party and then cutting them out of your life.
2. Love in Utopia is unconditional but in the land of Convenience - Love is given wholeheartedly only when there are no questions of help or dependence.
3. Love should give you wings to fly .. but sometimes Love anchors its victims by proclaiming "Don't you love me, this would help us"
4. Love is just being there. When a loved one asks "How are you holding up?", those few words more than make up when you're barely hanging on ...
5. Love makes it ok to refuse, say "NO!!!" You give what you can and love is ok with that. Don't walk away because you could not give what was asked for, stay back because you were asked ...
6. Love is believing in someone who has fallen one too many times. Have faith in them, sometimes that extra push is needed to persevere and at times it is all that "holds up a drowning man's head above water" ...
Love means much more than all this and more another day .. for now .. "Au Revoir"

Aeons Later ...

It has been a while since my last post (understatement ??). I can say that events transpired since are worthy of any soap opera ... (wink)
A little list of what I have learned
1. Even if you come up with a list of all the bad things that could happen; stress and worry about it - lose precious hair, get a terrible complexion, become fluffy and various other eeky physical changes - It will not change anything. After years of looking over my shoulder, waiting for the next shoe to drop - preparing for the terrible (very dramatic) scenarios - the worst did happen. All that stress and worry over everything except the one thing I had never thought of ... So now in addition to getting over all that, I also have to contend with above mentioned changes. (darn !!) Stop worrying, because when /If the worst happens - it helps to look Gorgeous :).
2. NOW is the time to show Friends and Family you love them not later. "Later" just slips by and you're left with regrets.
3. If you are really really sad - pray with other people (go to your place of worship or anywhere you feel comfortable and pray) or go out for a walk or read one of Amanda Quick's older romance novels or Imagine your Perfect Life or just talk about anything to a perfect stranger or your friend/ family ... Escape for a bit and when you return you will be better equipped to hold on and move on.
4. Just keep moving, don't stop. Take baby steps if you just cannot leap .. Just start ...
Finally, the last one for today:
Courage does not always roar. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow". Maryanne Radanbacher.
Take care ...

100 Things to Do Before you Die (Really Good List)

really Nice Link .. Check it out. I've done about 3 on that list.. :)

A Wednesday

Good Tidings to all.

Autumn has to be one of the most beautiful seasons in the year.

Things to get you to smile a little: seeing leaves floating down onto the highway or birds going absolutely crazy or when I manage to drive 5-6 cars ahead of the Lexus 2009 in the left lane or when the big brother truck on your right hand side stays there till you drive ahead of them.

With AIG on the verge of collapse, Lehman brothers already collapsed, Mamata Banerjee screwing over West Bengal with the whole Singur situation, the Delhi blasts, the Indian nuclear deal that does not seem to be balanced, the floods in Haiti & Texas - all these disasters, make you wonder whether this is really the Apocalypse. I feel like shutting my doors and windows; huddle beneath my blanket and sleep.

Of course I cant do that so the next best thing is to search for something - anything good and almost always I find it. Nothing big or miraculous - watching the leaf floating down willy-nilly onto the highway is enough to calm me down and make me smile. Basking in the early morning rays of sunshine while stuck in traffic and listening to "Rock On" or when I am being checked out for the beautiful woman I could be are just some Feel Good Moments I have.

Life is not always sunny but it doesn't have to be dark always either. Just random thoughts.

Hugs.

Indian Festival Season - I love it

Wishing all Happy Ganesha Chaturthi and Greetings for Ramadan.
As years go by, Ganapati has become more important to me. Holding on to my Indian Tradition and culture. That is a little difficult considering I grew up in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. I am a Non - Resident Indian, Global Indian and another tag (the one I love to hate) is "dog" from a popular muhaavara - " dhobhi ka kutha na ghar na ghaat ka" .. :). Oh well you live with it.
Recently been having cravings to settle down, maybe it is that stage or age where your homing instincts start screaming out or most of your friends are having babies or married or in relationships. Who knows by the time I turn 40, I may open a restaurant or tailoring store or both because I am cooking and stitching so much... ... Shift Topic: My way of keeping in touch with India is to scour all news about India or related thereof. Mumbai being my favorite place to read about..... ...
Shift topics - Sri Ganesha is getting more and more beautiful as time goes by. All the pomp and splendour - looking forward to celebrations is always good. All this makes some of our worries float by.
On a more serious note: Would anyone know of anyway to donate for the Bihar Relief (clothes, canned food and items of that sort).